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1. It’s not your home; it’s their home. They’re just letting you squat there.
2. And they’ll remind you of this fact any chance they get.
3. They’re always watching…
4. …and even when you think they’re not around, they are.
5. “If I fits, I sits” is the law of the land, so don’t act surprised when you see it being enforced.
6. Sometimes they like to be held, but — and this next part is very important — usually they don’t.
7. Games that don’t involve your cat? Forget about it.
8. They can’t be contained…
9. …and they can’t be controlled.
10. Any attempts to contain or control a cat will be met with failure.
11. If you’re not careful, they will find your greatest weakness and exploit it.
12. Oh, you want a plant? Do yourself a favor right now and forget all about plants. Just forget they exist. It’s easier that way.
13. What’s yours is theirs, so I hope you like sharing.
14. FYI: They hate sharing.
15. Cat toys? Keep ’em.
16. Fancy cat beds? Keep ’em!
17. If you ever forget any of these things, your cat might feel compelled to remind you.
18. And remember, it’s always been this way.